Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode. I'm so grateful to have you here.
In today's episode, we're actually going to be talking about how to become the person that you need to be to make sure that you can show up not only for yourself, but your family, your business, and as an entrepreneur in general. Hey, what's up everybody? This is Natalie, business and marketing consultant and personal branding expert.
I've helped scale and grow companies to over $10 million annually. And I'm here to walk you through everything you need to know to bridge the gap between where you are right now and where you want to go.
And this is the reality of winning.
I think with the trend of solopreneurship and everyone being an entrepreneur these days, the most important thing that I can mention is that your self worth is not found in your business. No matter how many followers likes re shares your post gets, it's not going to change how you actually feel about yourself.
And when you put your phone down at night or you walk away from your computer after scrambling and working for 14 hours a day, it's just you and how you feel about yourself. And no external factor is going to give you what you need. No substance is going to change how you feel about yourself.
And nobody is going to come and save you and make you fall in love with yourself. This is one of the biggest problems that I see when I'm talking to clients.
And especially, especially, you know, I feel like they're just avoiding their pain and they're focusing on their business. They're growing their brands and they're avoiding the internal work. They lack confidence, they're not able to charge the prices that they want.
They're not getting the leads. They just, you know, they wonder why everybody else's engagement is higher, why do they have more followers?
And you know, the second biggest problem is that they want to do everything themselves and they never ever feel like they're doing enough. These people rather work 12 plus hours a day than look in the mirror and see what's really going on.
There's a reason why you feel like you have to do everything by yourself. And I totally get it because I used to be the same way and this happened to me about five years ago.
But when you try and wear all of these different hats and you try and become the best at everything, even if you're still just an employee right now working in the marketing industry, I know what it was like. I thought I was, you know, saving money for, for my employer.
I felt like if I told Them that, you know, I couldn't handle it, that maybe I would get fired, or, you know, I had this insecurity about, like, no, it's okay. I can do it, I can do it. I can handle it. But the truth is, when you try to wear as many hats as possible, it doesn't make you more valuable.
This is literally the furthest thing from the truth. When you try and you focus on, you know, working instead of dealing with the problems that you're hiding from, you become the problem.
You become the person that ends up holding your business back.
Like, honestly, guys, you can optimize your funnel, you can tweak all of your ads, you can try and become a better copywriter, but it's not going to matter if you don't like yourself.
And I remember thinking to myself, like, and this happened to me a few years back, but I remember thinking, like, I'm going to just be happy once I make it. Once I have that million dollars a year, I'll be happy. Then. Then I can figure it all out. Then I'll be okay.
And it wasn't until I really learned that there's power and numbers that everything really changed for me. And that, you know, two heads are better than one. And every single person on this planet has value and they have something to offer.
And just because somebody else is exceptional at something doesn't mean that you suck. I feel like I need to repeat that. Just because somebody else is good doesn't mean you suck. It doesn't take away from you.
It just helps you get to your goal faster. Having, you know, an army of people who are as good as you can only make the business grow better, faster, stronger.
And I'll tell you straight up, the better that I got, the more leads I got, the more self development I did, the more the business grew, the more I worked on loving myself, the more revenue we made.
And I couldn't become a great leader or the leader that I needed to be to really manage my team and build a real team until I dealt with my own demons. So if your business is kind of stuck, it's standing still, revenue stagnant, you're, you know, maybe suffering from burnout, you're working too much.
You've become the thing standing in the way of your success. And nothing is going to change until you decide to change.
And this is why, you know, as a business marketing and personal branding consultant, I also offer self development because I think it's really important that, you know, you have to build not just the brand, but the Person behind it, the person running it. You know, you could toss my eight step process in growth systems that have scaled companies to over 10 million, you can plug that into your company.
But if you're not the person that you need to be to run that company, it doesn't matter. No system is going to grow your business until you effectively grow yourself. So how do you do that? How do you get unstuck?
How do you, you know, move past this current situation and deal with those demons? Well, I basically developed this process through, you know, trial and error in my own life.
And it wasn't until I stopped focusing on just becoming an exceptional entrepreneur that things started to shift. So I call this now symmetrical building.
And what that basically means is that you're performing symmetrically, which means equally well rounded in more than one area in your life at a time. So basically it's about bridging the performance gap and performing equally. And what I like to say is the nine core areas of life.
So we all have a current level, we have a desired level.
Whether it's, you know, how frequently you're going to the gym, how much work you're getting done in a day, it could be how happy you're feeling, how many calories you're eating, the money you want to have, the house you've been dreaming about. You have a current state and, you know, current house, current money, current calories, current body weight, current business, current net worth.
We all have that current state. And you have a desired level.
And you know, for whatever reason, since I was a kid, I just, I always believed that I could be or do whatever I truly wanted. I knew I could be successful. There was just something inside of me that said that I could.
I just had to figure out how I was going to do it and what I wanted to do. And I spent so many years trying to figure out how to just be the very best version of myself.
But no matter what I did, I always wanted more out of myself. And this is all about, you know, the symmetrical building here.
So no matter how good I got, there was always just another level I wanted to reach that I could reach. And it didn't matter how much I ever got done because there was always more to do.
So I found myself focusing and trying to increase my performance mostly at work. But then I'd start falling short in other areas.
Like I'd be, you know, working really hard on my business and I'd sacrifice working out and, you know, I would become so busy I didn't have time to make a meal, nor did I really feel like it because I was so burnt out and drained and I lacked energy and, you know, something just had to be redirected and I had to change. And I knew that there had to be a better way and some type of way to just be happy and killing it in all these core areas at once.
So I think that there's about nine core areas in life that we should be working on performing consistently in.
So that's your health and your mindset, your weight, your family, your personal self, care, time, all of your relationships, whether it's, you know, like a partner or your friends. I think it's your fitness, your finances and your business or career.
So with each of these nine core areas, you basically fall at a different level of performance output. So your performance output is basically the level that you're performing at.
So that means, you know, you might be killing it in the gym, but you don't have any money, or your business is growing, but you're overweight and you're depressed. So that's your performance output level.
Basically just things like you have a desired level, like a straight line, and then you have, you know, almost like a bar chart that goes up and you just have these different levels of output here. So your performance output level is how far that bar goes up in comparison to your actual desired level.
And then where you fall short in another area I call the performance gap. So your performance gap is the distance between where you're performing now and your desired performance level.
So basically what I started doing and trying to become a symmetrical builder is basically trying to perform equally in all nine core areas. I wanted to be consistent with raising my performance in all areas as well as generating a new performance standard.
So your performance standard is that version of you that you want to be, but you're just not there yet. Right. You haven't bridged that gap. So something really awesome happens in your life when you go from being subconscious in your daily routine.
You're just kind of reacting to life. You're, you know, kind of stuck in your head sometimes.
Maybe like you want to grow your business, you want to do this, and you just keep focusing on that. But, you know, there's all these other problems that you haven't dealt with.
Like for me, I used to have, you know, I used to turn to food and emotionally eat. And I think it's because my brother was a drug addict and alcoholic. So I turned to something that I felt safe with.
And so, you know, that was a big problem. And I used to yo, yo. In my weight for a really long time. And so I was avoiding dealing with the root causes behind those issues.
And I was just like, I'm going to grow my business. I would have a really bad relationship.
And I was like, okay, I'm just going to focus on work and growing my business and not deal with this and just brush it under the rug. So, you know, for me, that was like kind of those demons that I was avoiding.
But when you get out of your head and you stop being subconscious in your day to day performance, you know, we start wishing we were at a different level to focusing on performing equally and optimally in all nine core areas. It kind of just gives you control back over your life.
It gives you the opportunity to grow, to build, and to create safely in more than one area at once.
I think the number one thing that I noticed is that when your focus shifts and you kind of get outside of your own head, your cortisol levels from, you know, you can.
A lot of entrepreneurs suffer from adrenal fatigue and stress due to financial pressures, deadlines, obligations, getting a newsletter out, jumping against like, racing against the clock, like anything like that. So elevated cortisol is a really big thing. And basically you suffer from poor sleep habits.
You can have, you know, increased desire for food and sweets during that time. You could become really moody. Cortisol can affect different people in different ways.
Some people may experience all of these symptoms in which I would call that a metabolic storm, because your thyroid and your hormones are probably imbalanced at that point as well. So number one thing, when your cortisol is down and you feel relaxed, you're like, okay, I can do this, right?
And you get that little momentum going and you feel like you've just got your life back in your hands. And it's just such an important thing.
So I think when you shift your focus and you just try to show up as the very best version of yourself each day, things start to dramatically change inside of your life. And this is really important because you have to take a step back and you have to just say, like, I'm going to fix this.
No one is ever going to be exactly where they want to be. And that has a very big thing to do with delayed gratification, right?
Because no matter what, everything that you are today is a result of all of your previous thoughts and actions. So if you've been thinking, I suck, I'm not good at this.
This is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I don't have the money, I don't have this, then that's kind of like what ends up showing up in your life later on.
Even though you might not be in that same headspace when it shows up, it is basically just the compounding interest and your own thoughts and actions as to what's going to be in that brain or bank account later on. So when you start to show up as your best self each day, it's important, and you really have to take that step back. You're going to fix this.
No one is ever going to be who they are. That new level, every new level that you reach in life is going to require a new version of you.
And the number one thing that I've realized in life is that the more you learn and the more consciously aware you become, the more you get to see where you fall short, which kind of sucks.
But at the same time, it's good because you understand and have a roadmap into getting your new reality and your new future and that new compounding interest to be exactly what you want it to be. So once you start to realize this, you can focus on improving your performance output in more than one area.
But you really have to let go and learn to understand that you're always going to be under construction. It's about, you know, stacking the evidence that you need to prove to yourself that you can get to where you want to go.
So what I'm talking about is when you're, you know, you have that bar graph and you're trying to bridge the gap between where that bar graph ends and where you actually want to be. So as you start to raise your performance standard, you start to perform more equally in more than one area.
You have to be really humble with yourself. You have to give yourself a lot of grace, a lot of love, a lot of understanding, and you just can't beat yourself up.
You have to focus on what went right.
And this was a big one for me because at the end of the day, I always used to just look at all the things that I had left to do, how many more things I added to my to do list. And I never counted my wins. I never said, like, oh, you know what? You did really great here today, Natalie. You did awesome here.
And so what you want to do is really just focus on, you know, not what's left to do or how far you go, not what's left to do or how far you have to go, but take inventory every single night, every single week on where you're at. And again, like, we all fall short and we're all human.
And when you've had a previous thought pattern or behavioral pattern that has been consistently showing up in your life since childhood, it takes a really long time to adjust those, change them, remove them. And you just need that love and grace with yourself and to just know that it's okay that you are where you are and that you're going to get there.
It's just going to not happen as quickly as you want it to. So when I'm taking inventory, some of the things that I look at is like, do I need to raise my performance in one area? Did I fall short in one area?
If I did fall short, what triggered that? It's all about looking at any adjustments that we have to make and asking ourselves why we were not able to raise the bar in one area.
After about a month of doing this, you start to become more consciously aware. You start to see and, like, pick up on your own behavioral patterns. You can also start identifying any key triggers or situations that happen.
Keeping a journal and a notepad and like, going through this effectively on a weekly basis is really going to bridge that gap for you, let me tell you. But you're also going to see where your limiting beliefs lie and what the root causes are behind your behavior.
So the ultimate goal is to reach your desired performance level in all areas. And you want to focus on, to start to just perform equally in all core areas, right?
You don't want to keep raising your performance standard, not right away. So you want to get comfortable, and you want to be happy, and you want to feel good about where you are performing.
You also want to stay there, and you want to make sure that you can provide evidence to yourself that this is who you are, this is what you can do. And once you're comfortable and you haven't dropped into an old thought pattern or.
Or an old behavioral pattern, you can start to then raise your performance standard. As you go through this, your mindset completely shifts. You're feeling more confident than you ever have in your life.
You can start showing up for yourself. You have evidence stacked. You're, you know, you're performing at your performance standard, right?
You're showing up, and not just with one thing, but in all things like it.
Could you imagine right now if you had the money you want, the business you want, you were at the goal weight, you took care of yourself, you were fit. All of those things tied into one. You had the girl, you had the guy, you had a great relationship with, your family.
Like, isn't that what it's all about, like to have a well rounded life.
So I mean, when you can show up for not only yourself, but all the people around you and the people you love in your life, the people in your business, the team you're managing, you'll be ready to take on more responsibility because you were able to make it this far. And the most important thing, guys, is preventing a fallback. That that is the most crucial thing. And that's why you want to take up weekly inventory.
You need to have the right system in place. And you know, I recommend doing the system for a minimum of 12 months so you can set a new tone for the rest of your life.
You really have to remember that you're the best investment that you're ever going to make in life. And this is what's going to set you up for the rest of your life and make you happy.
The more we can normalize our emotions, our fears, our anxieties, and work through those problems today, the more we can help other people do the same and the more they're going to have that opportunity to learn and grow through these experiences.
And I believe honestly that the more disciplined and resilient that we can become today, the more we can inspire future generations to just naturally be this way. And I think that every step that we take today has a ripple effect into the future. And just picture this for a second. Okay, guys, this is so great.
And this is part of like my core mission and values here.
But I think that we have the ability to shape a world where happiness and success isn't something that's perceived as difficult, but it's a natural way of being.
Like, if we all grew up thinking that, you know, happiness and being good and being consistent was just like a natural state, then I mean, we wouldn't be facing these problems right now.
And I don't think that we have to experience massive hardship in order to shift us or, you know, I don't think that being an underdog and overcoming these things is a truth or a reality. I think it's removing negative thought patterns, negative behavioral patterns, and setting the tone for the future. Right?
So everything that we do today has a ripple effect. And I am focused on shaping a world where happiness and success are not perceived as difficult, but a natural way of being. It's a natural state.
It is not something to be achieved, but rather something to be experienced daily. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And I think that's what it's all about. And I believe that there's no obstacle that can stand in your way.
And I think no matter what you want to do in life, there's a way to make that happen. You just have to be willing to put in the work, the time and the energy required for you to get it and be happy.
And I think if we can shift a setback or a failure and just focus on improving ourselves every day, knowing that no one will ever be perfect, I think that is a whole new ballgame for people. And I think, you know, the more we can just normalize this, the better the world is going to be.
And, you know, guys, I just want to say I'm so grateful to have you here today, and thank you so much for tuning in. Please don't forget to hit that subscribe button. This is the only way I can reach more people and help serve in a larger way.
And next week, my next episode will be out on Tuesday. So stay blessed, guys. Stay grateful, and just don't forget to raise the bar on your performance this week.
And I know you have everything you need inside of you to make that happen.
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